Totally Stupid Gifts

SIGNS ON BATHROOM WALLS

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
-------Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" its "Hi, how are you?"
-------Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
-----Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, N. Carolina

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
-------Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas,Texas

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
-Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

You're too good for him.
-Sign over mirror Women's room, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
-Sign over mirror in Men's room, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
-------Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
-------Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
-------Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
-------Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
-------Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
-------Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY

 

Other Graffiti

Here I sit in gassly vapor,
some dumb fuck used all the paper.
No longer will I sit and linger,
look out asshole here comes my finger.


As you sit and take a shit,
look at this and think a bit.
The last time I beat my meat,
was on this very toilet seat!