Totally Stupid Gifts

Two statues, male and female, have been guarding the door of an old church for centuries keeping out evil spirits and such, so one day God decides to reward them.

He comes down and says, "Ok, since you have been so good, I am going to give you a day off from guarding the church, spend it however you wish."

A few minutes later, God sees the statues dissapear behind a bush. The bush commences rattiling and shaking like no ones business. Twelve hours later, they emerge.

"Hey," God says "You've still got twelve hours left, go have fun!"

So the female statue turns to the male statue and says, "Ok, this time you hold the pigeon and I'll crap on it."