Totally Stupid Gifts

What do you mean moron!!!  There's no such thing.  English IS ENGLISH!

But we are talking about the South here - America that is:-

Southern Medical Terms

Benign................................... What you be, after you be eight.
Artery................................. The study of paintings.
Bacteria............................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.................................. What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section............... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan................................. Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize............................. Made eye contact with her.
Colic...................................... A sheep dog.
Coma...................................... A punctuation mark.
D&C....................................... Where Washington is.
Dilate.................................... To live long.
Enema.................................... Not a friend.
Fester................................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula................................... A small lie.
Genital.................................. Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series........................... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail............................... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.............................. Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain............................ Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff..................... A Doctor's cane.
Morbid.................................. A higher offer.
Nitrates............................... Cheaper than day rates
Node...................................... I knew it.
Outpatient........................... A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear............................ A fatherhood test, or to speak bad of your Daddy
Pelvis..................................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.................... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.................... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum.................................. Damn near killed him.
Secretion.............................. Hiding something.
Seizure................................. Roman emperor.
Tablet................................... A small table.
Terminal Illness.................. Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.................................... One plus one more.
Urine..................................... Opposite of you're out.
Varicose................................ Near by/close by