A New European Language.

The European Union Commissioners have today announced that, after considered debate, an agreement has finally been reached to adopt a single language for the European union.

The preferred language for all communications will be in English, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the final negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, the letter 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.

Sertainly Sivil Servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard 'c' will replaced with 'k'.

There will be growing publik enthusiasam in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaces with 'f'.

This will make words like "fotograf" some 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be exspekted to attain a stage where more komplicated improvements are possible.....

By the forth year, people will be reseptiv to such steps as replasing 'th' by 'z' and redusing 'w' by 50% to just 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze uneserary 'o' kan be droped from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar moves vuld be aplid to ozer kombination of leters.

Ater ze fife yer, ve veil hav a reli sensibil riten styl, ze drem of a truli akseptibl Englis languaj vil av finali kum tru.

Auf Wiedersehen.
 
 

 
 

 

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