Totally Stupid Gifts

With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to redress the balance:

MIRRORCILLIN
A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without pausing once.

STOPPANAGGIN
Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their spouse/boyfriend.

COSMOPOLIRA
Doubles female intelligence to almost simian levels, allowing alleged facts in trash lifestyle magazines to be disputed.

LOGICON
Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively without being diverted into non-relevant postulates such as “You don't love me anymore.”

PARKATRON
72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 metres long; 54% achieved this in under 15 minutes.

MAGNATACK
Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear much larger than in reality - no practical use for this drug has yet been found.

WARDROBIA
Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their credit limit.

BEERINTULIN
Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.