Totally Stupid Gifts

These are pretty gross, but you've already been warned!

There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn't for fame,
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.


There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker,
and thicker and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.

There was a young vampire called Mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.

There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someones coming,
said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!


A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said look you've cum,
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.

There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short 'en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.

There was a young girl called Molly,
who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back,
and opened her crack.
And the bastard backed in with a lorry.

There was a young man from Harrow,
who had one as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart,
try this for a start,
My balls are outside on a barrow.

There was a young girl from Hitchen,
who was scratching her crutch in the kitchen
Her mother said "Rose,
its crabs I suppose".
She said "bollocks, get on with your knitting"

There was a young girl from Devizes,
who had tits of different sizes.
One was quite small,
almost nothing at all.
But the other was big and won prizes.