Totally Stupid Gifts

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN:

1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities

But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial

But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God

But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil

But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion

But then there were equally good arguments that...

JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures

But perhaps the most compelling evidence...

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN:

1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He tried to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT
3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do.