Inland Revenue
PAYE

Notice to employer of employee's code
(or amended code)

To:       All male taxpayers
From:  District Inspector

NOTICE OF INCREASE IN TAX PAYMENT

Dear Sir,

The only thing the Inland Revenue has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40 per cent of the time it is hanging around unemployed; 20 per cent of the time it is pissed off, 30 per cent of the time it is hard up and 10 per cent of the time it is in a hole.  On top of this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.

Accordingly, by April 2002, your penis will be taxed according to its size.  To determine your category please confirm the information on page 2, section 7 of your standard Tax Return Form (7).

10 - 12 inches              Luxury Tax                                  £30
8 - 10 inches                Pole Tax                                      £25
6 - 8 inches                  Privilege Tax                               £15
4 - 5 inches                  Nuisance Tax                               £5

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under four inches is eligible for a refund.  Please do not request extension.  Males exceeding 12 inches must file under Capital Gains.

Any change in circumstance should be notified immediately.

Yours faithfully,

 

I.M.A. Pecker-Checker

HM INSPECTOR OF TAXES
 

 

 
 

 

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