Totally Stupid Gifts

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a
young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,
leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how
many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie , then looked at his
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure." The yuppie parked
his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he
surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite
navigation system. He scanned the area, and then opened up a database and
an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.

Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized
printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watches the
young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the
shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not." answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog."