Totally Stupid Gifts

I decided to wash the car. As I start toward the garage, I notice there is mail on the hall table.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay the car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my chequebook off the table and see there is only one cheque left. My new chequebook is in my desk in the study.

So, I go to my desk where I find the Diet Coke I’d been drinking.  I’m going to look for my new chequebook, but first need to push the Diet Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Diet Coke is getting warm and decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke, a vase of flowers on the sideboard catches my eye. They need to be watered.  I set the Diet Coke down on the sideboard and I discover my reading glasses I'd been searching for all morning.  I decide I’d better put them back on the desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the sideboard, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.  Someone left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember it’s on the kitchen table.  So, I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get a cloth and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day, the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Diet Coke sitting on the sideboard, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one cheque in my chequebook, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem and I’ll try to get some help for it. But first I’ll check my e-mail.

Do me a favour, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent.